redсat~

Your phrase shoul be put down like: " But, you didn't explain what you were talking about..." Am I right?

Now, we can discuss any little thing! You suggest, please! The main option is that it is all for the sake of practice!

You are also mistaken.
"But, you didn't explain what you were talking about..." is not a question.
you should change didn`t and you.

I think it`s more interesting to speak to real foreigner. Neither our forum, nor diffrent books wouldn`t give the practice. The language of real englishspeaking people is awful. It`s not a language, witch we studied at school.
And it's more interesting to meet with some foreigners, get bear and discuss different themes. IMXO.

KostyaN

Why sould I change the word order in that sentence? Of course, that was not a question.....
Please, explain... And correct please the spelling " witch" - which, "bear"- beer, unless you would speak about ведьма и медведь....
Indefinite article shouldn't be neglected in ...to speak to A foreigner...

Back to our lambs: Of course you are absolutely right- live communications are better.... The question is- if any....
So, better practice in that artificial way then no practice at all....

Of course? you were right showing my mistakes. I had no practice for a long time and my grammar english is terrible.
What about using articles. Americans use them when they want to highlight something or when they just want to use them in any case.
What about the questinon. I thought that redcat~ asked a question.

КостяН, If, by any chance you wish to forget English, listen an American, speaking his variant of that beautiful language. Then, you are sure to sound "midatlantic".

thanks for advice.
But anywhere I wouldn't be able to forget English.
My teachers were very good. In school I sometimes even thought in english. Though it was many years ago and my speaking english is not so good now, I still have much practice reading tecnical books and issues.

KostyaN, You are kindly welcome! Anytime!

I can't believe you could think in English, because in that case you should be Englishspeaking by birth.... otherwise... it is impossible, I'm sorry...
You try to construct sentences on the basis of your still russian mentality. This is not English, I'm affraid....
At school ( prepositions use)
" my English is not quite good" - woul be preferable... (lexical mistake)
technical issues ( spelling)


I hope, you are a reasonable person & do not consider my remarks to be offensive or intruding... I'm trying to explain things, which I think improve your English to the better one....

I'm affraid, you are mistaken. I insist you coul not THINK in English! It would be a worldwide discovery! It only seemed to you....
... I had classes (simply the P I Tense)
... beginning from the 2-nd form(grade)
.... the worst (degrees of comparison)

hey fellas! what a cool topic but also so unpopular =(
this forum seems to be really attendant but where are english-speakers then?
and, especially, where's foreign-languages faculty?

I see, its much easier to post in foreign forums, but still... pay attention to ostudent... here we can discuss OUR things, right?



PS: ya talk kinda srange, don't ya use to talk russian the way people did two centiries ago... and, please, don't pick on americans without any reason.

Foreign-language faculty (department?) is here!!!

Why are you so anxiuos about mistakes? Foreigners themselves use colloquial language. Forget the Queen English that you've learnt at school.
And to think in a foreign language IS possible - after 3 studies of English in a row

lucky you!! I wish I had this goodness...
after three pairs (or how is it called?) of math, I can barely think in Russian %-|

Dear students! Of course we can speak a kind of an English language that anyone of us used to... But I'm affraid it would be not quite right....
You could hardly understand the artificial slang used by still Russians, pretending speaking the NY blacks language.... because to speak their language is possible when you are communicate with them naturally, being among them....

So, make yourself "digestible" while speaking, please....

Мля! Пиндосы уже на форуме! Спасу нет.

... Never thought that BBC could afford such a phrase!

No comments.

OK,
A piece of the so-called "orthodox" language....

... Nothing makes me feel so sorry and calls such a repentance as hunting hazel-hens....
It takes you about half an hour just before the twilight when you're tired of chasing and you are getting home.Then you suddenly stop, lift up your heavy rifle; your heart is sinking in expectation of some game of chance...
Then, you move slowly, snow cracking under your feet, and notice some vague holes spaced not far from each other.... Here I got them... They are very small, those holes, just fist size each and wings of the birds are molded in the snow to the left and to the right of the holes... The birds have just landed and made themselves comfortable under the snow... under the silence of the dozing forest...
... You know for sure and wait for the birds to take wing, but they are always unpredictable- each time they break through a thin cover of snow and start their maybe final flight your feeling is nothing but triumph.... Your soul echoes the tough work of the wings....
... The birds have been already sleeping, getting warmth and tranquility... Now, they are flying madly, landing without a proper place to land, slipping off the branches... falling down.. SHOTS ARE HEARD, FIRES CLEARLY SEEN in the melting twilight....


... When you pick up the hazel-hen, it feels exclusively warm..., may be it's because the frost has got more severe...

.... DEEP NIGHT when you get home... TIREDNESS CONQUERES after SURVIVED EXCITEMENT... You can hear the heart beat, you feel your blood- pulsing in your veins and salting your mouth... And all of a sudden you start thinking of your safe and loving place... peaceful and comfortable... either it is a small hut or extravagant apartment in a light-drowned city...
... Bordel carpets, restaurant hazes, hot trains and solitude jets, world beauties on sale, railwaystations stuffed with stinking warmth of humans...

... A VERY STRANGE MOMENT AFTER KILLING this small, quiet creature,getting asleep in its FRAGILE HOPE FOR LIVING...
... Why do we feel so protected then? IS OUR EXISTENCE more STABLE and safe than that of a small birdy... already frozen in your sack?

OLDER/OLDEST Орёл, 1990.

как будет по английски: "у олдера самая длинная писька"?

Eternal Stranger
How do you know that?.......

OLDEST
Do you mean to say that all this belongs to you?..
But anyway, if you can speak beautifully, it is only laudable, good boy. What I mean is that grammatical mistakes are not so terrible as weare used to think. Relax about them, they do not ruin the text, do not prevent from expressing ourselves. On the contrary.

Black Lynx

If you speak about my small essay, yes, it's mine...
Still, exchanging our Knowledge of English, we're longing for perfection, because everyone deserves PERFECTION... Agree?

Sure.

But perfection is impossible to reach...

Just, keep on trying! Then, who knows!

By the way, did anybody succeed to catch a radio in English in Orel? Is there anything worth trying?

Black_Lynx
Try short waves (?) radio

OLDEST

BBC

Просьба не флудить, пожалуйста! Я создал эту тему для ребят и девчёнок изучающих или говорящих на этом прекрасном языке не для забавы, а для расширения круга их общения и совершенствования языка...

Администраторов форума попрошу, если возможно, начиная с последующего за этим моим постом удалять все реплики по-русски...


Кстати, если необходимы разделы на других европейских языках- давайте создадим! По крайней мере: немецкий, итальянский, испанский, турецкий, могу обеспечить!

А китайский?! Я китайский учу

Do you mean you have a keyboard in Chineese?

Keyboard? Chineese use standard English keyboards.

I mean people who can speak it

1.000.000$ question: how many vowels and syllables has the word 'pencil'?

a kind of a tricky joke?

Exactly. So? Any guesses?..

...Surrended....

It has 2 syllables but one vowel. So don't believe teachers in the first class who claim that the number of syllables in a word is equal to the number of vowels.
Dirty liars...

Black_Lynx
So what vowel pencil doesn't have - E or I?

'I'. It sounds "pensl". And 'L' is... короче, слогообразующая согласная

Check http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/pencil. It has a different opinion on pronunciation.
Also, you should have mentioned that you were speaking about sounds (or phonetics aspect), not letters/

Good English-speaking. Appreciate it.
Why not discussing engish poetry instead?

What shall we begin with?

whisk, more classical phonetics tends to 1-vowel variant

As for poetry, I respect Blake most of all.

Sign in a restaurant: "In God we trust. All others cash".

Дэсилия
and some more boyans

D.BELL, B.BELL: "KEEP SMILING"
/fragments/

*** PLAY UPON WORDS ***
1. Diner: Do you serve crabs here?
Waiter: We serve anyone - sit down.
2. - I went to a hotel for a change and a rest.
- Did you get it?
- The bellboy got the change and the hotel got the rest.
3. One day a painter, looking out of the window, saw an old countryman going by
and thought the man would make a good subject for a picture. So he send out his
servant to tell the old man that his master would like to paint him. The old
man hesitated and asked what the painter would pay him.
The painter said he would give him a pound. The man still hesitated. "Come on,"
said the painter, "it's an easy way to earn a pound." "Oh, I know that," he
answered. "I was only wondering how I should
get the paint off afterwards."
4. She: You see, darling, this hat costs only twenty dollars. Good buy. He:
Yes, good bye twenty dollars.
5. - It's raining cats and dogs.
- Yes, I just stepped into a poodle.

*** IDIOMS IN JOKES ***
1. - Believe me, I pick my friends.
- Yes, to pieces.

*** THOUGHTS ***
1. It's a wise wife who knows when to overlook and when to oversee.
2. Women take to good-hearted men. Also from.
3. No matter how busy people are, they are never too busy to stop and talk
about how busy they are.

*** UNIVERSAL LAWS OF LIFE ***
1. You can't save face if you lose your head.
2. There are only two ways to avoid alimony: either you stay single or stay
married. Alimony is the high cost of leaving.

*** DEFT DEFINITION OR... DAFFYNITION? ***
1. Life has been depicted as a tree, the tree of life, and man is the sap
running through it.
2. Life is like a shower - one wrong turn and you are in hot water.
3. Teenage: the time when girl makes up her face more easily than her mind.

*** RIDDLES AND CONUNDRUMS ***
1. "Which takes less time to get ready for a trip, an elephant or a rooster?"
"A rooster - he only takes his comb."
2. "What did the hotel manager say to the elephant who couldn't pay his bill?"
"Pack your trunk and clear out!"
3. "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pound note."
"Go shopping. The change will do you good."
4. "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a spoon."
"Sit down and don't stir."
5. "What's the definition of archaeologist?"
"A man whose career is in ruins."

*** ASK ME ANOTHER ***
1. If the world is round, how can we travel to the four corners of it?"

*** BATTY BOOKS ***
1. "How to make money" by B.Keeper.
2. "Easy money" by Robin Banks.
3. "Long walk" by Miss D.Bus.
4. "How to loose weight" by X.R.Sizemore.
5. "Love and marriage" by Dee Vorce.

*** HUMOR AND REALIA ***
1. Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father did not punish him?
Sheldon: Because George still had the hatchet in his hand.

*** ADVERTISEMENTS AND SIGNS ***
1. Sign in a bookstore: SATAN HATES US BECAUSE OF OUR LOW PRICES ON BIBLES.
2. An electrical dealer who sells washing machines has the following sign on
his window: DON'T KILL YOUR WIFE. LET OUR WASHING MACHINE DO THE DIRTY WORK.

*** DRIVE-SAFE SIGNS AND PREVENTION-OF-ACCIDENTS SIGNS ***
1. Check your brakes and your brakes will check you.
2. The driver is safer when the road is dry. The road is safer when the driver
is dry.
3. Do you love your children? So do we - drive slowly.
4. This is God's country. Don't drive through it like hell.
5. Don't smoke in bed. The next ashes that fall on the floor may be your own.

*** GRIM HUMOR ***
1. Then there was the model who sat on a bottle and cut a good figure.
2. The cannibal entered the dining-room aboard the luxury ocean liner.
"Would you care for the menu?" "No, just bring me the passenger list".

*** TOASTS ***
1. Drink to the man who keeps his head, though he loses his heart.
2. To the land we love and the love we land.

*** EPITAPHS ***
1. In the cemetery at Middlebury, Vermont, is a stone, erected by a widow to
her loving husband, with the following words: "Rest in peace
- until we meet."

*** QUOTING THE FAMOUS ***
1. "My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me"
(Benjamin Franklin)
2. "An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more
than he knows."
(Adlai Stevenson)
3. "When you are down and out, something always turns up - and it is usually
the noses of your friends."
(Orson Welles)
4. "Better slip with foot than with tongue."
(Benjamin Franklin)
5. "If you wonder which is the stronger sex, watch which one twists the other
around her little finger."
(James Thurber)

*** THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID ***
1. "Remember, it was a storm like this the night you declared your love to me."
"Yes, it was a terrible night."
2. "Darling, you look wonderful! What happened?"
3. "Doctor, I often feel like killing myself. What shall I do?"
"Leave it to me."
4. The headmaster of a local school received the following note:
"Dear Teacher, please excuse John for being late. His uncle died
last night and we had a hard time waking him up this morning."

*** PLAY UPON PHRASES AND THEIR WORD COMPONENTS ***
1. Old gentleman: Does your watch tell the time?
Youngster: No, sir. You have to look at it.
2. Mamma: Where have you been, Johnny?
Johnny: Playing ball.
Mamma (severely): But I told you to beat the rug, didn't I?
Johnny: No, ma'am. You told me to hang the rug on the line and beat it.
*** PLAY UPON GRAMMATICAL AND PHONETIC STRUCTURES ***
1. Mother: Jimmie, run over and see how old Mrs.Smith is this morning.
Jimmie (returning): She said to tell you it was none of your business.
Mother: Why Jimmie, what in the world did you ask her?
Jimmie: Just what you told me to. I said you wanted to know how old she was.
2. A lady has just bought a postage stamp.
- Must I stick it on myself?
- Positively not, madam. It will accomplish more if you stick it on the
envelope.
3. - Waiter!
- Yes, sir.
- What's this?
- It's bean soup, sir.
- No matter what it's been. What's it now?
4. - Is a chicken big enough to eat when it's two weeks old?
- Of course not!
- Then how does it manage to live?
5. - Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger?
- No, but I've seen a man eating herring.
6. - And while we were hunting wild animals we saw a man-eating tiger.
- Well, some people will eat anything.
7. - In this place you can eat dirt-cheap.
- But who wants to eat dirt?

whisk
and one more

Son: "What is a debtor, Pa?"
Papa: "A man who owes money".
Son: "And what is a creditor?"
Papa: "A man who think he is going to get it".

Hello, everybody! How nice to recall our special section of OSTUDENT! Join the Joyride!

A fellow stops by to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, "My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go get me my shoes please?"
The guest obliges and goes upstairs. There he sees his friend's daughters, both very good looking. Being the adventurous and quick thinking kind, he says: "Hi, ladies! Your daddy sent me up here to make love to you!"
They stare at him and say, "That can't be!"
He replies, "OK, let's check!"
He shouts down the stairs to his friend, "Both of them?"
The reply comes back, "Yes, both of them!"

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I coma one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi.'

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.
As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.
"I'll give you a lift."
The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."
The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

A young hillbilly and his new bride wanted desperately to start a family, but they didn't know what they had to do to have children. So they decided to visit a doctor.
With a great deal of embarrassment, the young man explained their situation. The doctor took out his charts and books for adolescents and carefully explained the birds and the bees. The two looked bewilderedly at each other, then at the doctor. The doctor attempted to explain in various ways and terms the ins and outs of human reproduction. The same result.
Finally, exasperated, the doctor laid the bride on the examination table, removed all her clothing, and had intercourse with her (Tsk, tsk, tsk!) He then turned to the young hillbilly and asked, "Now do you understand?"
"Yes, doctor," the hillbilly responded, "but just one question."
Slapping his forehead in total disbelief, the doctor squawked, "Yes, what is it now?"
"How often do I have to bring her in?"

Two bored dealers are waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The dealers agree.
She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm half naked." With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers.
"YES! I WIN! I WIN!" With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves.
The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching the dice!"

The Baltimore Police Department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident.
Returning home from work, Brittany was shocked to find her house had been ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, Brittany ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a BLIND policeman!"

Late one Friday night a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.
"Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five O' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' course I had to go in for a couple of Guinessis -- couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later..." And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection.
The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test."
Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?!?"

Well, the topic fell to oblivion..

Does anyone know anything about CAE & CPE examinations? How much different are they?

Black_Lynx
...have no idea...

...have no time to chat...Sorry!